Men talk about feelings indirectly

Many guys find it rather difficult to express their feelings deeper than the standard “I Love You”.
But you can cheat.
Try to ask him what he felt when he met you for the first time.

From time to time, also be interested in what he feels now when he sees you regularly. Such leading questions can be as many as you like.

The main thing is that it helps you to draw conclusions about his feelings.

A man shows his feelings by actions

Some men prefer to express their feelings through actions, not words.
Yes, he sometimes finds it difficult to squeeze out “I love you”.

But he will have it in mind when he takes care of you in a cafe, accompanies you during shopping, repairs a collapsed shelf, prepares your favorite dish or even just regularly takes out the trash – in general, does everything that changes your world for the better.

Men take obligations seriously

There is a widespread opinion that most of the representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of serious relationships. And yet statistics show that in 90% of cases, men are extremely responsible.

Yes, they can long evade and delay the moment of imposing obligations on their shoulders. But if this happens, then playing out the role of husband (partner, head of family, etc.), they are laid out to the fullest.
At least, at first. But why then this fuse often fades away – this is a slightly different topic.

He really listens to you.

When he tells you something, for you, most likely, it is quite normal from time to time to meet in his monologue or at least give in to him.

But when you change roles and he is silent, this does not mean that he does not listen to you and is hovering in the clouds. It is quite normal for the guys to silently absorb and digest information that reaches their ears.

It is important for him to do something together

For most men, the indicator of strengthening relations is joint activity with a partner.

Yes, expression of feelings is also necessary. But the truth is that together watching a movie, a trip to his parents or a pair of cooking dinner for him means more than just beautiful romantic words.

He needs time for himself

Despite the fact that common actions are very important, men also need a time free from relationships.
Regardless of what he likes, try to encourage him to do it more often.

You will be surprised how much happier it will look.
In addition, when both partners have a place and time for the development of individuality, they can give each other much more.

Men learn from their fathers

If you want to find out how a guy will behave in a relationship, meet his parents.
How the father will treat his wife, so in most cases his son will also behave.
So you can predict what kind of relationship is waiting for you.

Men move forward faster than women

Women tend to remember negative experiences and emotions for a long time, exhausting themselves with stresses on nerves, anxiety and sadness.
Men are emotionally restored much faster after unpleasant events in the relationship and almost immediately ready to move on.

So if, you all day pouting for him in the hope of apologies for some yesterday’s words, but in return you do not get anything, it does not mean at all that he stubbornly does not want to admit that he was wrong.
Most likely, he simply does not know about your resentment, because he did not attach importance to the words or actions, or simply forgot about them for a long time.

It’s hard for him to catch your hints

Male beings are straightforward. Such subtle signals as changing the tonality of a voice or facial expressions, many guys remain unnoticed.
So if you do not want to take offense at your man because he misses your hint of something, you better just tell him straight what you want.

Men need to be appreciated and shown this

Do not ignore his attempts to contribute to your relationship, even if he “climbs” in cases that you consider to be purely feminine.
If he is washing clothes, cleaning the house, raising children and preparing to eat – do not forget to show that you appreciate his actions.

Otherwise, there may come a time when you already seemingly and not prevented his help, but he has already lost all desire to show such an initiative.

Men think about sex … Often … Very often …

Maybe it’s not a secret for you. But still I want to tell you a couple of facts of entertaining statistics.
Most men under the age of 60 think about sex at least once a day. Although if we talk about 20-30-year-olds, we can name the average figure – 19 times a day.
As for women, about the same figures are present only in a quarter of women.

And that is not all. Men fantasize about sex twice as often as women, and their fantasies are much more diverse.
These points are desirable to consider when you are in a relationship with a man. Otherwise, the hour is not even when the one who will more often and more interestingly satisfy his natural needs will lead him.

Men consider sex an important element of relationships

There is a myth that for most men, sex is just sex.
But in fact for many, this is an important kind of interaction between two people who are not indifferent to each other.
Just like most women, men find sex more enjoyable within a long-term relationship. The reason is simple – the longer you

Of course, he may want impressions “on the side”. But this, most likely, will already be the result of ignoring the facts given in the previous paragraph.

He likes it when you take the initiative in sex

So it is accepted that usually the first steps towards sex are done by men. And many of them are seriously unhappy with this.
I understand, you like to be conquered, sought, etc. But your partner also sometimes wants to visit your place.
Therefore, if it is too unusual for you to take the initiative in this matter, at least learn to make hints that you want it now.

Men are not always ready to have sex

Despite the fact that men think a lot about sex, this does not mean that they are always inclined to do it.
Men, as well as women, are constantly exposed to stress due to accidents at work, in the family and simply in life.
And stress is a serious killer of libido.

Therefore, if the partner says to you: “Not today”, this does not mean that he lost interest in you.
It just means that at the moment there are conditions, because of which he does not want to have sex.
In the end, he may just not be in the mood.

He likes to make you happy

It’s very important for your man that you enjoy yourself. And the pleasure is diverse – sexual, moral and just physical comfort.
The problem with this is that he can not always guess what exactly you are missing. As I wrote above – we do not understand hints.
Therefore, if you want something and you know that he will be able to fulfill your desire (unrealistic dreams are better not to voice, so that his ego is not affected), just say so. And watch how his face shines while he breaks into a cake, just to satisfy you.

A man always worries about how good he is in bed

Most men are worried about how they cope with “masculine responsibilities.” And every year it manifests itself more and more.
Your man can also worry about how long your sex lasts, how many orgasms you got and how sexy his body looks sexually.

But an enlightened woman knows how to help her man cope with such manifestations of insecurity, learn to relax and not think about the level of his skill.

A man can seek alternative sources of happiness

If men do not feel love and recognition in a relationship, they can start looking for another place in which these needs will be met (even by replacing some of the joys with others).
Some can focus on work and stay up late.
Others are addicted to computer games.
Still others – with alcohol.

And the fourth and finally start a mistress or leave the family.
To nothing like this happened, do not give him an excuse to find other sources of pleasure, except for the relationship with you.

He makes his contribution to the relationship, if you set a good example

Most men understand that they can lose a lot if long-term relationships become boring – not only their partner, but the whole life that was created with him.

Therefore, if you show willingness to work on your relationships and constantly strengthen them, he will most likely do the same.

Image Credit: IMAGE-WS

The post The Secrets of Men appeared first on SEQDL.

However sad it may sound, love does not live forever. And over time, it goes away or transforms into deep friendship and affection.
When love passes, of course, the partner’s behavior changes. The best way out of the situation is a frank conversation. However, if you are afraid to talk for one reason or another (or, perhaps, he does not go to revelation) – look whether there are any “disturbing bells” in your man’s behavior.

He does not want to spend time with you

If your man does not want to spend time with you, this is an occasion to reflect. If a person loves, he wants to be around.

If he is looking for hundreds of reasons to be out of the house – perhaps the love has passed.

He does not talk about his life

When a man ceases to be frank, and your communication grows into a dialogue between friends or neighbors (or you discuss solely household matters) – this is one of the “alarming bells”.

Remember, when there is love, there is frankness and sincerity, as well as complete trust.

Many couples are afraid to recognize the fact that love has passed. They continue to live on the knurled and represent themselves as a family, but no feelings. It is much more effective to recognize that the relationship is over and allow fate to give new love, “said American psychologist  John Everton.

Does not seek to lighten your life.

A loving man does everything possible and impossible to make life easier for the woman she loves.

He will easily clean potatoes for dinner or go to the store when necessary. If a man tries to put all his duties on your shoulders, most likely, his feelings are weakened.

Does not hold back promises

When you love someone, you always do what you promised. Of course, there are people who do not know how to hold back promises, but we will not swing them.

If earlier he remembered what he said and did, and then everything changed radically – this is an occasion to reflect.

Often irritated

Frequent annoyance at your address indicates lack of respect. And without respect, there can be no love.

Of course, there are different situations, but if your man is irritated on an ongoing basis – talk to him.

Image Credit: SJJP

The post 5 Signs He Doesn’t Love You appeared first on SEQDL.

Image credit: AdinaVoicu

Fear of responsibility

Like any responsible person, a man clearly knows that the entire responsibility for the family will lie on him. And it’s not that you make more money.

He is not sure that he will be able to provide full-fledged care and support you when a child is born. He realizes the weight of the burden, but he is simply not ready to sleep at night because of the crying of the baby.

He is already married

He is married, and carefully conceals from you his second half. As a rule, such situations happen quite often, and only imprudence or chance can expose the loving Don Juan.

Potential bachelor

Image credit: StartupStockPhotos

This category includes introverts or sociopaths. Such a man will never forgo the habit of eating alone.

He wants to wake up alone, live and rest as he wants, and does not see coexistence a priori. You are just a temporary guest, and nothing more.

Not ready to marry a second time

He can hide his unsuccessful marriage. No matter how ridiculous it may sound, the soul of men is much more vulnerable and vulnerable than women.

This type of men is going through a divorce, as the most difficult test in life. He just needs more time to heal his wounds.

Unwillingness to lose freedom

This category does not accept obligations. Such a man prefers freedom. He was not used to giving an account of his actions.

He does not introduce you to his friends, does not lead to his company, avoids your parties. Be sure this man does not marry you for long.

Does not want to be limited to one woman

Image credit: geralt

You are for him in the role of a “spare airfield”. While he is holding the ball into someone else’s gate – you will be in the reserve team. With you, he is affectionate and caring, but playing by his own rules is much more interesting to him.

The post Why Won’t My Boyfriend Marry Me? appeared first on SEQDL.

In our study, 300 people took part, most of them were students who faced psychological problems and enrolled in psychotherapy sessions. Our experiment started before the beginning of their therapeutic sessions: many participants suffered from a depressive or anxious disorder and on average showed low rates of psychological health.

We randomly divided people into three groups, participants of each of them went to the sessions to the therapist. The difference was in the additional task. The participants of the first group once a week wrote a letter of gratitude to some person. Participants of the second described their thoughts and feelings caused by unpleasant situations in their lives. Participants of the third group did not write anything. The experiment lasted three weeks.

A few weeks after the end of the experiment, we assessed the psychological health of the participants. In the first group, it significantly improved, in the other two there were no changes. Hence, gratitude helps not only healthy, but also that it struggles with psychological problems. We carefully analyzed the research data to understand how gratitude affects the brain and the body.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS SAVE FROM DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS

Image by StockSnap {link to https://pixabay.com/en/users/StockSnap-894430/}.

We compared the share of words with positive and negative emotional assessment, which were used in the texts of participants of two writing groups. Participants who wrote letters of gratitude used more positively colored words and fewer words with negative emotional coloring compared to the second group. However, positive words do not yet guarantee mental well-being. Only those people who used less negative words, subsequently improved their condition. The absence of negative statements led to a difference in the state of mind between the two groups.

A letter of gratitude switches attention from negative emotions, like resentment and envy. When you write, how grateful people are and how much good people have brought to life, it is difficult to get stuck in thoughts about bad events.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS HELP, EVEN IF STAYED IN THE SECRET

We told the participants who wrote letters of gratitude that it is not necessary to send letters to the addressees. Only 23% of the participants actually sent letters. But all the other members of the group also corrected their condition, although the letters remained with them. So the actual transfer of gratitude does not play a key role.

Let’s say you want to write a letter to someone gratefully, but do not dare. Write it anyway. Then decide whether to send or not. The act of writing a letter in itself will help assess people in your life and shift the focus of attention from negative thoughts and experiences.

The positive effect of letters of gratitude does not arise instantly. In our study, it accumulated over time. A week after the end of the written practices, we did not notice the difference in the state of mind between the participants of the three groups.

However, four weeks later, the first group that wrote letters of gratitude showed an improvement over the other two groups. After 12 weeks after the end of the experiment, the difference became even more noticeable.

In many other similar studies, the positive effect decreased over time. In our case, the opposite happened. Perhaps the participants discussed their letters. These discussions intensified the psychological effects of writing letters.

If you are writing a thank you letter, do not expect immediate improvement. Be patient. Gratitude needs time to act.

HABIT TO BE GENTLEMENTS IMPROVES HEALTH

Three months after the beginning of the psychotherapeutic session, we compared several people who wrote letters of gratitude, with those who did not write anything. We wanted to find out if their brains started to process information in a different way.

To do this, they were asked to perform an exercise “pay another” and in the process used a tomography to evaluate the brain activity of participants. During the exercise, the “benefactor” gives each participant a small amount of money and asks him to transfer it to another person if he feels gratitude. Then the participants decide whether to transfer money for a good cause, and determine the amount.

We wanted to separate the donations, motivated by a sense of gratitude, from donations based on other feelings, for example, debt or guilt. To this end, participants were asked to note how grateful they were to the benefactor, how much they wanted to participate in charity, and how much they felt guilty if they did not do so. The participants also filled in the questionnaires, which allowed to determine how grateful they are in general in life.

Image by Congerdesign {link to https://pixabay.com/en/users/congerdesign-509903}.

People who were generally grateful gave more money for a good cause and showed higher neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex. This zone is responsible for learning and making decisions. It can be assumed that more grateful people care more about how to express their gratitude.
We also compared the brain activity of participants who wrote letters of gratitude, with indicators of those who did not, and noticed the difference. Those who wrote letters of gratitude had more noticeable activity in the medial prefrontal cortex.

We found this effect three months after the start of the experiment. This means that the expression of gratitude has a long-term effect: constant practice trains the brain, and it becomes more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future. In the long term, it strengthens mental health.

It does not matter if you are facing a psychological problem, try writing a letter of thanks. Most of the time and energy we spend on the pursuit of what we do not have. Gratitude helps us to appreciate people next to us and things that we already have.

About the authors
Joshua Brown (psychologist, works at the Indian University).
Joel Wong (psychologist, works at the Indian University).

The post How gratitude changes our brain appeared first on SEQDL.

Fish

Oily fish has the most valuable omega-3 acids, which have a positive effect on digestion, skin and metabolism.

But their main trump card is improving memory and reaction speed, as well as building new neural connections in the brain.

Blueberries

This berry contains a full set of vitamins, which are necessary to improve memory performance, namely: C, B1, B6, PP, and calcium and magnesium.

Eggs

In eggs, a lot of natural protein, which helps the brain to create new neural connections responsible for the assimilation of new information.

And choline, which is contained in eggs, helps to focus on learning new information.

Chocolate

Flavanol, which is contained in cocoa butter, from which natural chocolate is made, is responsible for the flow of blood to the brain and its active work.

This is so positive for memory that chocolate is even recommended for use in the prevention of Alzheimer’s.

Broccoli

All kinds of cabbage are useful for the brain and memory, but the queen among them is broccoli.

It contains vitamin K, which is responsible for the regeneration of brain cells and the creation of new ones, so broccoli helps not only to memorize a new one better, but also not to forget the old one.

Walnuts

Serotonin and lecithin in walnuts help to fight the sad memories that clog our memory with unnecessary information.

In addition, these nuts increase the ability to memorize, which is why all students are strongly encouraged to use them during the session.

Image credit: Pixabay

The post 6 products which can make your memory better appeared first on SEQDL.

Psychologists say that the basic desire to achieve success and become a leader is formed in childhood. It is ambitions that help a man to declare his “I” in the world of his kind and become something like an advance guaranteeing his future prosperity. So, 5 rules of success from the most famous men.
The rule of success of Alexander the Great: “There are a lot of worlds in the universe, and I have not conquered one yet.”

Comment of the psychologist. Ask your lover what he dreams about, how high he allows himself to rise in fantasy? If the limit of dreams is a separate apartment, a car and sandwiches with caviar, next to you is hardly a future conqueror.

The rule of success of Walt Disney: “Well done – always better than good, so stop talking and start doing.”

Comment of the psychologist. If your chosen one feeds you with advances, but does nothing, does not burn with work, and in principle does not care about anything, then it’s just stupid to expect great career achievements from him.

John Rockefeller‘s success rule: “If your only goal is to become rich, you will never reach it.”

Comment of the psychologist. Sociologists conducted a survey among students of prestigious universities. Everyone was asked one question: “What opportunities will the future profession give you?” 65% of respondents named the opportunity to earn well. Psychologists explained the trend with a cult of money, the ruling world, and noted that such an approach could lead to complete spiritual degradation. Emptiness and disappointment are the logical result of any banal accumulation.

The rule of success of Aristotle Onassis: “The whole secret of business is to know something that no one else knows.”

Comment of the psychologist. It has long been noted that success is achieved by the one who maximally concentrates on his business, deepens into it, studies comprehensively to become an expert in it. Is this your man? Is there something in which he is one of the best?

Rule of success of Henry Ford: “When it seems that the whole world is against you, remember that the plane takes off against the wind.”

Comment of the psychologist. According to statistics, only one in seven men manages to realize their ideas and plans. Most refuse them at the first failure. Is your man enough to stand up? Were there any situations in his life when he had to knock repeatedly at the same door? This may apply not only to business, but also to ordinary life.

Image credit: Pixabay

The post 5 rules of success from the most famous men appeared first on SEQDL.